Dear Coke Talk: On loneliness.

Such good loneliness advice!

i’m going through a lot of shit right now, and i just need to tell someone who is a complete third party who doesn’t know me who isn’t my dad just trying to give advice or my friends who don’t actually give a shit. but i’m trying not to make any definitive statements, because that’s a serious flaw i have.

anyway, i’m not happy, basically. the cure seems pretty fucking simple. be happy in the present moment, don’t take anything for granted, be grateful for your lucky ass life (i mean, i really am lucky to have everything i have. it’s not like i’m poor on the streets), be kind and blah blah.

but i’m going through a serious dilemma of having friends. one of my tumblr friends just said, “fuck ‘em. if people wanna be your friend they will be, you just have to be content living with yourself.” which i agree with but i don’t know. i don’t HAVE to be completely alone just because. it seems when i do make efforts to hang out with the people i’ve met (i’m in college away from home, by the way. third year) they seem to have an excuse. i don’t think i’m trying hard enough but if they make an excuse but never ask me back to hang out later, shouldn’t i take the hint?

You need to separate the idea of loneliness from the idea of being alone.

Loneliness is the negative emotion you feel when you are disconnected from others. Being alone is merely not being in the physical presence of others.

You can be lonely in a room full of people you call friends. You can also feel connected to every other living soul while still being completely by yourself.

Once you separate loneliness from being alone, you can better analyze the true nature of your underlying emotions. Are you reacting to genuine loneliness, or are you reacting to the social stigma attached to the experience of being alone? They are two totally different problems.

Once you understand the difference, instead of trying to remedy loneliness by not being alone, you’ll start to remedy loneliness by connecting with others.

The difference may seem subtle, but it’s everything.

(Source: dearcoquette)